You have made the move abroad and are living your dream. Yet you find yourself regularly missing home. Dealing with homesickness is a common experience for expats that creates feelings of nostalgia and longing for their home, their home town, their country or all of the above.
Feeling homesick is a natural part of the experience of living and working abroad. It is all about successfully balancing staying connected with your roots and homeland while warmly and slowly embracing your new environment.
In this article, we bring you ideas and strategies for dealing with the emotions of homesickness, so that you can settle positively into your new home abroad and keep your sanity.
Understanding Homesickness
Homesickness usually develops because of the cultural shock felt when moving to a new country that lacks everything that is familiar and feelings that home, family and everything that is familiar is now a long way away. Culture shock develops from feeling disconnected from the local culture.
Homesickness can manifest itself in both physical and mental conditions. Dealing with homesickness is a natural part of the experience of settling into a new community abroad. It something that most people face at some point while living abroad – and often occurs when you least expect it.
The Emotional Impact of Homesickness
Homesickness often leads to feelings of loneliness and isolation, when you are trying to adjust to a new culture. Even though aspects of your new life seem exciting, missing the familiar can have a big and negative impact. A longing for the familiar surroundings of home with all its traditions and food can quickly develop as you try to settle into your new life.
Daily life can be affected by feelings of missing home. Dealing with homesickness can make it difficult to enjoy new experiences and to fully engage in the new environment. If you are working abroad, your productivity can be negatively impacted too.
I well remember my first year in Cyprus and feeling so unhappy because Christmas had nothing of the magic that it did in the UK. The following year, I was very aware of the huge build-up to the Orthodox Easter. All ages took part in the Lenten Fast – and I did too. Going to the Midnight Easter church service was amazing. The church was packed and everyone warmly greeted me. Afterwards I was invited to enjoy a bowl of soup to break the fast and as I walked home, I realized how each culture differs, but each has its highlights.
Strategies for Dealing with Homesickness Abroad
Everyone is different and will handle their feelings of homesickness differently. It is important to tackle how you feel at your own pace. Be kind to yourself when dealing with homesickness. Realize that the grey clouds of homesickness that are blighting your everyday experiences, will eventually lift.
Here are some tips to help dispel those feelings:
1. Try and make new friendships
This is often easier said than done – especially if you are feeling anxious and introverted. If there is a local expat group, remember you might not be the only one feeling homesick. People often wait for others to make the first move and initiate conversation. Be brave and start chatting!
If you’re comfortable, why not invite a group of people to your home for a cup of coffee and some traditional goodies from your home country? If it works, you may well find others following your initiative and taking the opportunity to showcase their home country.
Be friendly and approachable – even if you don’t feel so. Admit to people that you are dealing with homesickness, but don’t wallow in those feelings. They may well offer some ideas on how to banish your feelings.
Join the local language class as this is a great way to meet other nationalities and alleviate the feelings of loneliness. Learn some phrases quickly that will make everyday life easier and even shopping a happy experience as you will be able to communicate much more easily.
Join your local Facebook group as there are often others on it who are dealing with homesickness abroad and just as lost and lonely as you. The MeetMe app is another good way to make new connections and enjoy going on a hike, cycle ride etc.
2. Make your new house home
Quickly make your new space feel homely. Decorate it with familiar photos, trinkets – and your favourite mug. Spend a little money to buy some soft furnishings to make it cosy.
It is important to incorporate some of the traditions from home in your new life. It is good to regularly cook familiar meals, celebrate holidays and practise cultural rituals from your homeland.
As you explore and discover the culture of your host country, it is essential that you stay connected to your own culture. This can be done in the comfort of your home through music, books and movies.
3. Embrace your new environment
Getting out and about and doing what you enjoy doing most can be really uplifting. Getting out every morning jogging, enjoying a cycle ride or good walk will all help dispel feelings of homesickness.
Visiting places that interest you and immersing yourself in the local community can both be beneficial. You will be establishing new routines in your daily life. Integrating aspects of your new host culture will help create a sense of belonging and stability. There is nothing wrong with embracing the country’s best elements – the ones that attracted you to making it home.
4. Stay connected with home
Family and friends at home are really important- wherever you are. Staying connected with home is essential. Time differences can make things tricky, but having a regular slot to speak to each other will make you feel better. These days, communicating is made so easy with WhatsApp, Zoom and social media as there are no money issues involved.
I remember many years ago having to save up my money each week to speak to my parents from a public telephone box when I lived in Germany. It can be fun to share photos of what you have been doing in your new home. Sharing a virtual tour can be fun and a great way to participate in home traditions or celebrations from afar.
Keeping up with the news and special occasions are a great way to stay connected with home. Be honest with friends and family, if you are feeling homesick, but recognise that they might not be able to relate to this is they have never lived abroad.
Do not believe that the best way to deal with homesickness is to not visit home. Planning and saving for a visit home is something very positive to do. Having such plans can provide comfort during homesick moments.
5. Take care of yourself
Coping with homesickness is a challenge. You may well feel lonely, isolated and anxious. Be kind to yourself during these difficult days. Getting outside in nature is vital as it will boost your spirits. Regular exercise is important, so why not walk or cycle somewhere new? Joining a local gym or yoga class is a great way to tone your body and meet new people.
If you find that the grey clouds of homelessness are lingering, seek professional help before they become overwhelming. Do this sooner before your feelings negatively impact your mental and physical health. Therapy and counselling can both be very beneficial.
6. Balancing your roots and new life
When you move to a new country, it is important to embrace the new culture. Balancing this with your home culture does take time and patience. An essential step is to acknowledge that homesickness often creates a romanticised memory of life in your home country – which may not strictly be reality.
Dealing with homesickness successfully means cherishing your roots rather than discarding them, while blending the old and new cultures. Living abroad will in time change your outlook on life. Learning all about your new culture, while keeping abreast of changes in your home country will ensure that you feel connected to both and not stuck in two different worlds.
Long-Term Coping Strategies
Feelings of homesickness can still be felt, long after you think you have settled abroad. It is important to be patient with yourself. You are still going to feel pangs of homesickness when there is a family celebration, milestone of significant holiday that you have missed. Accepting this will help you deal with homesickness.
Focusing on the positives of living overseas will help put things into perspective. Being grateful for the new opportunities and growth you have experienced in your new country helps. Keep your life in balance by celebrating the fun of living abroad – while acknowledging the challenges too.
In short, dealing with homesickness while living abroad involves finding a good balance. The equilibrium of staying connected to home while embracing your new life abroad will help ease homesickness. Key strategies for this include building a new support network while staying in regular contact with loved ones at home.
It is also good to create new routines that bring comfort. Homesickness is a natural part of the adjustment process. The feelings will gradually fade as you grow more comfortable in your new life. With patience and time, you’ll find that you can thrive by cherishing your roots and at the same time discovering the excitement of your adventure abroad. Stay positive and trust that the best is yet to come.
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